Been Ghosted? Here’s why it happens

What sounds like a word from a Nickelodeon TV show is a harsh reality that has spread like wildfire in the dating world for singles, so what exactly is ghosting?

Huffington Post describes “Ghostingas when someone you’re dating ends the relationship by cutting off all communication, without any explanation. And we’re not talking about not getting a text back after one awkward OKCupid date, but receiving the ultimate silent treatment after several dates, or when you’re in a committed relationship.

Ghosting is happening so frequently it has become a question we should ask whether someone has done, it when when first getting to know them. But ghosting isn’t new, think back on how many ‘boyfriends’ we had in primary school and we just stopped talking to them when we didnt want to go out with them anymore. Tara Collins, an associate professor of psychology at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, South Carolina told Live Science “I’m guessing that people ignored each other for a long time. It’s just a lot more obvious now because of social media and technology,”

When it’s so easy to contact each other, it becomes very clear somebody is ignoring you intentionally. Online dating has made ghosting develop to the larger scale, stories have been relayed all over social media of couples dating for a few weeks to couples together for years and one party just ghosting the other.

Dr. Jennice Vilhauer, the former head of Los Angeles’ Cedars-Sinai Medical Center psychotherapy program says “Ghosting has a lot to do with someone’s comfort level and how they deal with their emotions,” she added. “A lot of people anticipate that talking about how they feel is going to be a confrontation. That mental expectation makes people want to avoid things that make them uncomfortable.”

So does it hurt any less knowing that it is more about the person ghosting than the person ghosted? Being in love or hated often counteracts with an even more hurtful feeling – indifference. Out of the five women asked about what they would prefer, they all said they would rather be told than feel they weren’t worth even a sentence.


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